He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
