What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
