I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
