There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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