im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
