This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Randomize
