So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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