her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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