Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
