It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
