He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
