he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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