Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
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