oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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