So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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