carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
