okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
