He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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