so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I skipped work to stalk him.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
