i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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