I want to make a zoo with you.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize