She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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