Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
