I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
