We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
