This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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