I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
