Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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