kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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