do herpes really smell.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i now understand why vodka
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
