at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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