i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Ladies don't puke and tell
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
