In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
