He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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