Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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