You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
