Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
