Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
And then he peed in my hair
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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