I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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