At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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