a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
