i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
