btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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