He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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