Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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