I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
