...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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