I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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