hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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