he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
