I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
this is an emotional support booty call
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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