Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
