he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
3pm strippers are depressing
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
