I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
