dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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