I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
