So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Banned from zoo.
Again?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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