I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
